WARNING: I took my Bitter Mommy pill. I have my Snarky Panties on. Blame it on the lack of sleep, but my patience is done run out with all the “helpful” comments people have been making to me lately about being a Mom and Motherhood. I would love to tell people to go shh!, but I don’t. I just smile and trudge up the high road, secretly plotting my revenge. I have never actually done any of the replies, except maybe the one about the hamburger, but that pretty much is a given…like right now…yummy. Sometimes people just need to sssshhh.
Comment: How did YOU get such a cute baby?
Translation: You’re not good looking enough to make a kid that cute.
Reply: He gets his good looks from your husband.
Comment: My girlfriend already lost ALL the baby weight.
Translation: You look fat.
Reply: No reply…too distracted day dreaming about hamburgers.
Comment: Are you sick? You look really tired!
Translation: Wow, you look baaad. I’ll never look like that when I have a baby.
Reply: Just you wait bitch, you’ll see.
Comment: Did you know you have food stuck to your clothing?
Reply: Don’t touch me. That’s my snack for later.
Comment: When I was your age, I had FOUR children and we didn’t have all those fancy gizmos making our lives so much easier.
Translation: You stink you little hussie.